The War's Not Over
by Wunder Boy
Summary: Previously 'Forever' / When they meet again in UCLA, all Jesse wants is another chance. St. Berry. Futurefic.
1. A Reflection of a Lie

**A/N:** This has been on my mind since Laryngitis, maybe because I really missed Jesse, and because I think about him all the time anyway. As stupid as this sounds, this was actually so hard to write. I constantly had "Hello" on repeat and I now have a new idea for another fic. So, yeah, I just wanted to get this out of the way first. Sorry, sorry, I'm rambling.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Glee. Shocking, I know.

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**I.**

Jesse is seventeen when Shelby calls him into her office.

She seemed distracted during rehearsals which is odd, he thinks, considering that Regionals is fast approaching. Although in the back of his mind, Jesse knows that nothing good is going to come out of talking with his vocal coach, his curiosity gets the better of him and he walks into her office anyway and settles himself on one of the chairs in front of her desk. Shelby sits down and fixes a few papers on her desk before she laces her fingers together and looks at him.

"So," she begins, "What's up?"

Jesse looks at her incredulously and sits up straighter. "Excuse me?"

Shelby sighs and puts her hands down onto her table. "Right. I'll cut to the chase. I need you to do something for me."

"Of course you do," he says, grinning, "What is it this time?"

She takes a deep breath and says really quickly, but still managing to emphasize her words perfectly, "I need you to befriend my daughter."

Jesse's eyes grow big and he leans forward. "You need me to befriend _who_?" He actually starts laughing but stops when he sees the pained look on her face. He even has the grace to look apologetic. "Explain."

"Her name is Rachel Berry, she studies at McKinley, and she's a member of her high school glee club."

"I've heard of her," Jesse says. When he's bored, he goes through chat blogs to check out their competition. The name Rachel Berry came up a lot in one of the online groups and he was even actually able to watch a (badly taken) video of her singing during their Sectionals. Intrigued, he also took it upon himself to watch a few of her myspace videos. "She's good. Only decent one in their club. Could use some work, though."

"I know. I saw her at Sectionals. The others don't even compare. Her talent is wasted there."

"Is that why you want me to befriend her," he asks, "so that I can bring her over here and she can join Vocal Adrenaline?"

"No, but I definitely wouldn't mind her transferring here," she explains.

"Then what is it?"

"It's just that, ever since I saw her perform at Sectionals, I can't bring myself stop thinking about her," she says somberly. "When she walked out from behind that curtain, it's like she demanded attention." She's looking somewhere behind him, as if reliving the moment again in her head. "She's me. And I can't help but think that I miss her." She chuckles sadly before she continues, "I know, you must think I'm pretty stupid for missing something I never even really had."

Jesse shakes his head sympathetically and Shelby looks at him gratefully before she continues. "I want to get to know her, that's all. So, will you do this for me?"

Jesse is silent for a moment, weighing out the pros and cons in his head before he looks up at her and asks, "What about Regionals?"

"What _about_ Regionals?"

"Don't you think that this'll affect my performance during the day? I mean, she is _your_ daughter."

She grins at him and says, "I know you, Jesse. I know how well you work."

He can't argue with that, so he nods his head and she dismisses him soon afterward.

When he does finally meet Shelby's daughter, their chemistry is so undeniable that it takes him off guard. She stuns him even more when she sings and he can't help but marvel at how well their voices sound together. So he doesn't even hesitate when he asks her out, and he's actually quite glad that she accepts his offer.

As far as first dates go, theirs is quite the experience. He takes her out to a restaurant, nothing too fancy, and she comes in a pink blouse and a purple mini skirt; he can't help but smile at how endearing her unusual taste in clothes is. He greets her warmly and leads her to the table. After they both order, he looks at her and notices that she's pressing her lips tightly together; he laughs. "What's wrong with your lips?"

She looks at him questioningly and he adds, "Why are you pressing them together like that?"

"Oh," her cheeks turn red and she opens and closes her mouth a couple of times before she answers. "I tend to over talk when I'm nervous. I ramble, really, and most of the time nobody gets what the hell I'm talking about so basically, I just waste my spit," her eyes bulge then, as she realizes what has just come out of her mouth. "Oh my god, I can't believe I just talked about my _spit_. Like I said, I ramble. You can stop me whenever you like. And I mean really, please just stop me."

Jesse chuckles again. "You're nervous?"

Rachel's cheeks turn a deeper shade of red. "Oh, it's not you, or not completely you. I mean, being in your presence does have its effect on me. You have won the national title three years running, but you know, it's the whole thing about it being the first date as well. Like I said, it's not just you."

He laughs for what feels like the hundredth time that night and he mentally adds this to the things he's starting to like about her. _She's funny. _She definitely did not inherit that quality from Shelby, he notes, then he takes her hands in his. "If it helps, I'm nervous, too."

"No you're not," she argues, "You told me in the music store that you don't get nervous, remember?"

"That's different," he points out, "It's not every day that a pretty girl goes out to dinner with me." And even though he's said that line to more than a fair number of girls, he feels an odd sense of satisfaction when he sees the corners of her lips twitch, right before she rolls her eyes and laughs.

"That was lame," she says.

"You liked it anyway," he teases. The look on her face confirms it.

Their food arrives shortly after and after some convincing, she initiates a lengthy discussion about her favorite musicals, most of which include Barbra Streisand. Another thing to add to the things he likes about her, _she has good taste._ They both don't notice how quickly time passes by and he thinks later that it's because of how easily they can talk about things. So it is with disappointment that he says that they better start getting ready to leave. She looks at her watch and she agrees. When the bill arrives and she offers to pay for her half, he adamantly refuses and says it's the least he can do to repay her for such a wonderful evening. He doesn't miss the blush spread across her cheeks the moment he says it.

The ride home is just as interesting as their time at the restaurant. She highly approves of his taste in music, and they sing show tunes the whole ride to her house. When they arrive, he walks her to the front door.

"Thank you again for going out with me," he says when they reach her front porch. "I had a wonderful time."

"I did, too," she says and she smiles up at him. "I can't believe how well that went, to be honest."

"Why not?"

"It's just that, I've never really been on a lot of these things before. Dates I mean, and I just—thank you for making this evening so memorable."

"Oh, but—," he can't continue with what he was saying because she's pressing her lips together again and he finds it impossible not to laugh, "You're trying to stop from talking too much again, aren't you?"

She nods.

"If it helps," he says, as he moves closer to her, "I don't think you talk too much." He is honestly, _honestly_, just as surprised as she is when he leans down to peck her on the lips. His smile grows wider when he sees that she has a dazed look on her face. "I'll call you," he says before he turns away and walks towards his car. He gets in, looks at her and sees her waving at him, her dazed expression replaced by a huge smile and he waves back and winks at her before he drives away.

He's grinning madly as he recounts the date to Shelby and she eyes him cautiously. "So, you had fun?" she asks.

Jesse's smile disappears when he says, "Sure."

Shelby sharply reminds him that this is supposed to be all business. He says that he knows what this is supposed to be and that she should stop complaining, as he is only doing her a favor. So she sighs deeply before she chucks him out of her office.

As his and Rachel's relationship progresses, his reports to Shelby become less and less frequent. He tells himself that it's only because it slips his mind—he does have his studies to work on and maintaining a relationship with such a high maintenance girl like Rachel is already taking up most of his time—but he realizes over time that it's really because he actually might be starting to like her. (And the fact that they have to sneak around and have secret clandestine meetings? He likes that too. In fact, he thinks it's kinda hot.)

He finally brings himself to report back to Shelby though, when he finds out just how loyal she is to her little glee club. "She can't fully bring herself to open up to me," he tells her one afternoon, "She cares too much about what that club thinks about her, so I highly doubt that I'll get anything else out of her, much less that she'll actually consider transferring to Carmel."

"_What?_" Shelby says outraged, "How does she manage being part of something like that?"

Jesse shrugs. Although he'll never tell Shelby this, he finds it quite admirable that she's so loyal. It is nice to know that Rachel Berry is someone that he can trust, even though he can't really say the same for himself right now.

It surprises him when Shelby suggests he move to McKinley, and even more so when he only hesitates for a few seconds before he says yes. He tells himself it's because he's Jesse St. James, and that he _always_ gives one hundred percent in everything that he does, but that look that Shelby gives him after he agrees makes him think otherwise.

Shelby jokingly makes him promise not to get too attached, but the longer he stays at McKinley, the more he sees why Rachel is so loyal to the club. They've got heart, and that's what Rachel is all about; Heart.

Although they continue their relationship, jumping a few hurdles along the way (he still takes the Run Joey Run debacle personally, and she is still irked that he left to go to San Diego without properly telling her), Jesse only realizes how much he cares for her when it dawns on him how easily he can lose her.

He has his epiphany when Rachel calls him one night, tells him that her dads aren't home again and asks him if it's okay for him to come over. He drives to her house and sees her sprawled on her bed, songs from the _Wicked _soundtrack blasting from her speakers. He joins her on the bed and she moves closer to him.

"I met up with Shelby again today," she says.

"Oh?" he asks as he wraps his arms around her.

"Yeah," she answers, "She said that now probably wasn't the right time to reestablish our relationship. Basically, we said goodbye for now."

"You can't be serious." He honestly cannot believe that Shelby simply brushed off her daughter like that, especially considering how hard they have worked just to get Rachel to come to her. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. I mean, I'm a bit disappointed. But it was weird, you know, how I was so sad when she told me that. But I couldn't bring myself to come up and hug her, and let her tell me that things are going to be okay, like a regular Mom." He hears her sniff and feels his shirt start getting wet. He tightens his grip on her. "That's kinda why I called you. I'm sorry, I know it's late."

"There's no need for you to apologize." He looks down to see her looking at him and he places a kiss on her forehead. "Everything's going to be okay, Rachel," he whispers, "Everything's going to be okay."

"What's she like?" she asks tentatively, "I mean what's she _really _like? I already know that we both have a passion for performing and that we're both driven. But what else?"

"She's harder to read," he says thoughtfully. "She's kinda hard, I guess. Her face doesn't show as much emotion as yours does. Except of course, when she's performing. But other than that, it's like she's got a mask on all the time." He feels this irrational sense of fear that she might turn up like that one day so he says, "Don't, don't be like that, okay?" He feels her nod her head.

"I love this song," Rachel says when _As Long as You're Mine _starts playing. "_... I need help believing, you're here tonight. My wildest dreamings could not foresee, lying beside you with you wanting me._" She continues to sing the chorus and he sings the next verse and before the song is over he realizes how well it applies to their current situation; he realizes that the mission is done, that _he _is done and that Shelby will probably phone him soon and tell him to return to Carmel.

This is probably the last time it'll be like this, Jesse thinks as the song finishes. "Can I stay the night?" he asks.

"I was hoping you would."

Jesse sighs contentedly and kisses her goodnight. She falls asleep soon after, but he lay awake, watching her sleep, trying to take in every single detail about her that he could, _making every last moment last _because he knows that it will all go downhill from here.

He gets the call from Shelby two days later and he gives her one final show before leaving her in the dust.

(He's pretty sure that the look that she gives him at the end of their number will haunt him forever.)

&.&.&

Jesse is nineteen when he sees her again.

He's in his favorite coffee shop one summer morning, sitting on one of the couches and reading a magazine when he hears the door open. His heart almost stops when he sees her standing at the foot of the door as if surveying the place. He watches as she nods her head approvingly before she marches up to the counter. He notices that his heart starts beating again, only thrice as fast as normal, and he finally goes up to her when she gets her drink.

"Rachel Berry," he says and he wonders where the hell the confidence in his voice came from.

"Jesse?" she looks up at him, surprise evident in her voice.

"Do you want to sit with me?" He doesn't wait for her answer before he walks back to his table, and he's glad that she follows and takes the seat across him. "I can't believe you're here. In L.A."

"Yeah," she answers, not looking at him. She sets her coffee down on the table and bites her bottom lip nervously.

"Why are you here?"

"Daddy and I moved here last month."

"Just you two? What about your Dad?"

"He left."

He is about to ask what she means by that, but the look on her face makes it perfectly clear. At first he thinks she's joking. Although he had only met Rachel's Dads a couple of times when they were going out, neither of them seemed like the type to just get up and leave. "You're kidding, right?"

"This isn't a joking matter, Jesse." She picks up her cup of coffee and takes a sip.

"No, it's not, of course it isn't," he runs a hand through his hair nervously, "I'm sorry, Rachel."

She nods.

"How are you feeling?" A sudden sense of nostalgia kicks in, but he's not quite sure why.

"Doing better. Trying to accept the fact that life's a bitch."

He chuckles despite himself. "Watch your language, Rachel."

She eyes him suspiciously before she checks her watch and stands. "I really must be going now."

Jesse remains seated. "Okay. Send my regards to your Daddy.

"Okay." She grabs her cup and starts to walk away.

"It was really nice to see you again, Rachel," he says sincerely.

She sighs heavily before she turns to look at him. "Yeah, sure." She practically runs out the door.

He thinks that that will be the last time they will see each other for a long time, so he's absolutely shocked when he sees her not even a month later, in his campus no less.

"Are you following me or something?" he asks when he comes up to her.

She blushes. "No, of course not," she takes a deep breath before she continues, "I study here now."

"Well, that's a surprise," he says, smirking.

"Daddy insisted," she says, clearly irritated. "Trust me though, if I had any say in the matter, I definitely wouldn't have chosen this school."

"Why not? It's great here." He gestures around for emphasis.

"I'm sure it is."

"What's the matter, Rachel? You still mad at me?" His tone is playful, but he's actually very nervous about her answer.

She looks away from him and shrugs.

He winces, but other than that, makes no show that her words had affected him. "Do you have anyone who can show you around?"

She shakes her head.

"Well, how about I show you around?"

She starts spitting out numerous futile excuses but he silences her by putting his hand on her shoulder. She looks at it with something close to disgust but doesn't shrug it off. "Rachel, I'm just offering to show you around," he insists, "There's nothing wrong with that. And you don't have any other choice."

She bites her lip and he can practically hear the gears moving in her brain. She takes a deep breath before she looks at him and says, "Okay. You can show me around if you want to."

He spends most of the day doing just that, although he can tell that Rachel is more than a little uncomfortable. She's always careful not to get too close; makes sure that they're far enough apart so that their arms don't accidentally touch. She's resigned to giving him one-sentence answers which is a huge contrast to the Rachel Berry he used to know. It is quite obvious that she isn't as happy to see him as he is to see her. But Jesse is _persistent, _always has been, and he follows her around during her first week to show her where to go, what to do, and who to avoid.

Slowly, he can see that he's breaking down her defenses; the corners of her lips twitch when he makes a sarcastic comment, which is as close to a smile as he can get; her sentences are longer now and more prominent; and she loses more and more interest for her shoes and actually starts looking at him when he talks to her. But when he starts to think that he's making progress, he'll see her wince when he walks up to her, and her almost-smiles never do reach her eyes.

He wonders if things will ever be easy between them.

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**A/N2: **And it is done! Thank you God! I honestly didn't think that it'd be this long. The length of the different chapters will probably vary but I've pretty much got the whole thing worked out.

Okay, just to clear things up: Whenever I hear _As Long as You're Mine, _I can't help but think of these two. It makes sense, doesn't it?

And in case you didn't get it, Jesse's last performance was _Another One Bites the Dust. _(I have this on repeat, too.) That scene breaks my heart, it really does.

Thank you for reading up to this point. Please do leave me a review. :)


	2. All I Hold

**A/N:** A few people have messaged me and asked me to try writing chaptered St. Berry stories, and this is exactly why I don't write anything multi-chaptered: _It takes me forever to update. _I'm really sorry, but I've just started my third year of high school and it's all a bit overwhelming. On top of all that, my laptop's broken. Ugh.

Anywho, I also want to thank all of the people who've put this story on alert, in their favorites, and who've left me reviews. This goes for my other St. Berry fics, as well. You have no idea how uplifting it is.

Alright, enough with my rants; I've kept you wonderful people waiting long enough. Here's the next chapter! I hope you like it!

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**II.**

A year after they meet again, Jesse finds Rachel in the library at two in the morning and he almost doesn't bother going in. Because despite all his efforts at trying to salvage what little he can from their failed relationship—he's taken her out to lunch a few times, and bought her at least a dozen cups of coffee—it didn't seem like she was warming up to him at all.

He runs a hand through his hair and looks around. He notes that there aren't a lot of people in the vicinity, and it'll look stupid anyhow if he doesn't go in, so he composes himself then closes the door behind him. Rachel looks up when she hears the door close.

"Hey," she calls out to him and the corners of her mouth twitch into the almost-smile he's grown so accustomed to seeing. She's positioned herself on one of the tables near the front, her desk illuminated by a lone lamp, directly above head.

"Hey," he says from his spot by the door. "What're you doing here?"

"I've got a History test tomorrow," she answers grimly, motioning to all the books and papers she has scattered around the table. "I know it's late, but I can't help but think that I'm going to miss something."

He smirks at her. "How very typical of you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asks as she turns her attention back to her book and flips another page.

"Remember back in high school?" he asks as he walks towards her. "All those all-night study sessions you used to pull, and all those cups of coffee you used to drink, just because you were sure that _you'd miss something._" He chuckles softly, but stops when he sees Rachel shrug her shoulders. He then sighs in defeat, ultimately understanding that Rachel Berry has her wall up again—and he knows that when that wall's up, there's absolutely no tearing it down.

He's a little hesitant, then, when he asks, "Do you mind if I sit here?"

She looks up at him with questioning eyes, and it takes her a moment to answer. "No, no, you can sit if you want to." He then proceeds to pull the chair out from under the table and takes a seat as she tries to gather all her papers into a pile.

"Please excuse the mess."

"It's fine," he reassures her before he places the book he's been carrying on the table and flips it open. He can feel her stare at him for a moment, before she too, returns her attention to her papers.

They lapse into silence immediately afterwards, which is only semi-uncomfortable. They both look at each other repeatedly, though, when they think it's safe, and after an hour of this, Jesse wordlessly gets up to get them some coffee. He walks out the door and down the hall to the conveniently placed vending machine, deposits a few coins, presses a couple of buttons, and grabs both paper cups when they're done.

He walks back to the library and is amused to find Rachel asleep on their table. Her right elbow is on the table, her forehead against her palm, and Jesse can feel a smile already forming on his lips. He sets down both cups of coffee on the table and gently shakes her left arm to wake her.

"Hey, Rachel?"

Her eyes flutter open and she blushes when she sees Jesse smiling at her. "Oh, thank you for waking me," she says as she rubs her eyes.

"It's no problem," he says as he takes his seat across from her once more. "Here, I got you a cup of coffee." He hands it to her and lets her take it before he says, "It's got creamer in it."

It takes her a few moments to respond. "You remembered," she says, blinking up at him.

"What?" he asks, his forehead crumpling in confusion.

"How I like my coffee," she adds. The tone of her voice matches the shocked look on her face.

"Oh." He shrugs it off because he honestly thinks it doesn't matter—he's picked up a few things, in the year that he's been with her, and it's not like this is the first time they've met, despite the fact that their first encounter hasn't been properly acknowledged (and Jesse isn't sure if that's fortunate or not)—but the look on Rachel's face makes him think otherwise.

They both drink their coffee in silence, and when they're done neither seem to be that eager to start studying again. Instead, they look at each other for a moment, before she clears her throat and says lamely, "Heard any good jokes lately?"

Jesse grins ridiculously at her, his expression a mix of disbelief and amusement, and Rachel giggles despite herself.

Half an hour later, he's telling her what must be the stupidest knock-knock joke he's ever heard, but she's laughing so hard that her sides hurt. She's said her fair share of jokes, none all that particularly funny, so he thinks that their laughter can only be attributed to the lack of sleep and the amount of caffeine in their system. He's on a roll, though, and tells another one before she gets a chance to intervene which sends them both into new fits of laughter. He notices a tear roll down Rachel's cheek, and he thoughtlessly brings his thumb to her face to wipe it off.

And suddenly, the joke doesn't seem all that funny anymore.

They slowly both stop laughing and they hold each other's gaze before he takes his hand off her face and surveys the room. There are hardly any people left, less than when he first entered, and most who are still there are half asleep (this explains why no one seemed bothered by all the noise they were previously making). He glances back at Rachel whose cheeks are slightly pink and is playing with her hair.

"I think we ought to be going to bed now," Jesse says as he grabs his book from across the table.

She finally looks up at him and says, "Yeah, I think so, too."

He helps her gather her papers, hands it to her afterwards and she mutters a quick thank you before they both head out the door. They stand outside the entrance, awkwardly looking at one another before Jesse offers to walk her back to her dorm.

"No," she says, a little too quickly. "I mean, it's alright. It's late, and your dorm and my dorm are on opposite ends and—."

"It's fine, Rachel," he interrupts, as he stifles a yawn.

"I know you don't mind," she says thoughtfully, "But really, I'll be fine."

Jesse realizes that she's got that wall up again, and he shrugs disappointedly. "Alright, Rachel."

She looks up at him once more, before she turns to go.

"Good luck on your test later," he calls after her.

"You too," she calls from behind her shoulder. "And thank you again for the coffee."

He watches her as she goes and waits for her to disappear down a flight of steps before he turns towards the other direction and walks away. His last thought before he goes to sleep is that, for the first time, Rachel didn't wince when he touched her.

(That means he's finally getting somewhere, _right_?)

&.&.&

A few days after their first semester, Jesse receives word of his father's death.

"_He had cancer, Jesse, so we knew it was coming for a while now," _his mother's letter had said. _"He didn't want to tell you. He didn't want to upset you, Jesse."_

He's not at all sure if there's any truth in the last statement. He's never been close with his dad, never really knew him. His dad grew up in a strict household and in turn, he wasn't one for talking things out, or giving out hugs, or any displays of affection what-so-ever. So when Jesse finds out that his mom wants him to come to the funeral—when he sees that she's already bought him a ticket and arranged his flight—he isn't quite sure if he wants to go. He packs, though, the night before his flight, because he can't sleep and because while his relationship with his father was pretty much nonexistent, his mother was always there for him in the past and he convinces himself that he goes _only for her._

His mother consumes him in a hug when he enters their old home. He stays in his old room and it's really, for lack of a better word, _weird_, being back in Ohio. (He tries his best not to think about Rachel, or about the things he did the last time he was here, because it's just so _inappropriate_.)

The funeral is held two days later. It's short so he doesn't necessarily wear a formal attire (one of the advantages of having a lot of black clothing) and he holds his mom's hand throughout the whole ordeal. He can hear her sniff a few times, and watches as she dabs her eyes with her handkerchief; he rubs her back comfortingly. There's a dinner afterwards, but he leaves as soon as it is over, hugs his mom goodbye and apologizes for having to leave so quickly. (He tells himself on the plane ride back that he was so eager to leave because he didn't want to be away from school longer than necessary, but if he's being honest with himself, it's really because_ he just can't deal with everyone being so sad._)

Jesse gets back to UCLA on a Friday and thankfully hasn't missed much. He informed his teachers the morning before he left about his future absences, so he's not at all surprised when he finds out that word got around as to why went back to Ohio.

He is surprised, though, when he hears someone knock on his door that evening. He gets up from his bed and walks over to the door, convinced that it's his roommate, Tom, who's forgotten his keys again. When he opens the door, however, he sees Rachel instead, carrying a DVD of _Moulin Rouge _and what looked like a bag of food.

"Uhm… Hi?" he says, confused. She smiles up at him (_actually smiles!_) and proceeds to confidently walk into his dorm as he adds, "Yeah, of course you can come in."

His eyebrows kink in confusion, and he looks back to see Rachel standing in the middle of the room, surveying the place. She then walks over to Tom's TV and inserts the CD into the player, grabs the remote, sits down on the couch, presses play and pats the place next to her, motioning him to sit beside her.

"What're we doing?" he asks as he takes a seat next to her.

"We're watching _Moulin Rouge,_" she says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "I was free tonight and felt like watching a movie. Then I remembered all those afternoons we spent watching movies like this, and how we'd sing the parts of Christian and Satine; so I thought, why not?" She grabs a pack of gummy worms from the bag she brought with her, opens it and takes one. "Gummy worm?" she asks, as she places it in her mouth. He stares at her incredulously—she comes to his dorm unannounced and just nonchalantly acknowledged their past relationship; it's a little bit overwhelming—before he ultimately gets a gummy worm and pops it into his mouth.

"I really don't know why—."

"Hush," Rachel says as she puts a finger to her lips. "The movie's starting."

During the course of the movie, they do sing the parts of the two leading characters, and Rachel almost swears that they sound even better than them; Jesse smiles smugly at her and agrees. She cries at the end of the movie, and he reaches out to hug her, just like he used to a couple years back. He's rubbing comforting circles around her back when he notices that it's not so uncomfortable anymore, being with her, and he's glad.

Rachel pulls away from his embrace a few moments later, then stands to turn off the DVD player. "Did you enjoy the movie?"she asks as she wipes away her tears.

He's standing now, too, cleaning up the mess they made and he nods. "Why are you here, though?" He's been itching to ask that question the entire time and he watches as Rachel's shoulders stiffen a little before she answers.

"I heard you were away, and so I asked around as to why you left in the middle of the school year," she says as she takes a seat back on the couch. She's looking down, playing with her fingers, refusing to look at him. "Tom finally told me after a couple of days of trying," she adds and she lets out a soft chuckle. She finally looks up at him when she says, "I know what it's like to lose a dad, Jesse. It's not the same, I know, but I just… _I know what it's like._"

He sits next to her again and brushes her hair away from her face. He notices that her eyes are glossy and that she probably wants to cry again, only this time he's sure it's not because of the movie. So he grabs a bag of chips, opens it and initiates the conversation.

He talks about his dad, and how he never really knew him; how he doesn't know how he's supposed to feel, because it seems stupid, doesn't it, _missing something he never really had__?_

"It's not stupid," Rachel assures him. "It's not stupid at all."

(For a moment, he's back in Shelby's office again, sitting on one of the uncomfortable chairs in front of her desk and he finally realizes why he said _yes _to her all those years ago.)

He shakes off the feeling of nostalgia, and encourages Rachel to tell her story.

"There's not much to tell," she answers him. "He left before the end of junior year. I was at school, Daddy was at work and when I got home, Daddy was holding a letter in his hands, and through his tears he told me that Dad left."

He frowns at her. Something stirs in his brain, an old memory comes up, and he gets up and grabs a water bottle from the mini-fridge before he tosses it to Rachel who catches it with ease. She looks at it questioningly and he adds, "Thought you might be _thirsty_, you know."

She catches the meaningful look he gives her, opens the water bottle and downs half of it. "Good call."

He grabs himself a can of Coke before he places himself on the couch again, and they talk about everything—their parents, their new friends, their classes, how she still has that affinity for sweaters with animals on them, how he still looks like he's going to a funeral 24/7—unconsciously avoiding any mention of high school, or biological mothers, or _eggs _until Tom comes back, drunk after midnight and Jesse apologizes as he, unfortunately has to be the one to get him to bed.

He walks her out and on a whim, he asks her if she would like to do this again sometime, preferably somewhere his drunk roommate won't be able to interrupt them.

"I'd really like that, Jesse," Rachel replies before heading off.

Her words replay in his head as he tucks Tom in, and he can't help but notice that he's come a long way from her _if you want tos._

And that realization just makes everything he's done in the past year worth it.

* * *

**A/N2: **This chapter is a bit more of a filler than anything, because I wanted to show Rachel's hesitancy, because she actually has to go to school with this guy and it won't help if they dance around each other. But as you can see, the St. James charm is semi-working, I guess.

Here's to hoping my next update won't take too long. I've got a St. Berry one-shot, though, that I want to post before I continue, so yeah. Reviews make me work quicker, though, just saying! Lol.


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